


Unbidden

by LoungingLux33



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), One Shot, That's Not How The Force Works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 19:46:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13934016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoungingLux33/pseuds/LoungingLux33
Summary: Months after the attack on Crait, Ben Solo has turned his back on the First Order and stayed connected with Rey through the Force. While they've used it to build a relationship, their connection does not go unnoticed...





	Unbidden

**Author's Note:**

> Not my first fic, but my first published work. Written in the first person from Rey's perspective. I hope you enjoy!

Unbidden, I felt the surge of his emotions take me over, surprising me as I prepared for bed. Turning slowly, I saw him, hunched and alone, his face pressed against the window of his chamber on the freighter he’d commandeered after breaking away from the First Order.

In the months since Crait, our connection had only grown stronger; I was able to see his surroundings as clear as I could see him now. He was still working on that part.

Now, his face glowing in the pale light of the planet he drifted by, he stared out at the stars silently, dressed in what was left of his First Order robes, a sleeveless black tunic and trousers.

He was lonely, and hurting in ways I had experienced before but wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. If he sensed my presence, he didn’t let on.

So I walked carefully towards him, not knowing what to expect.

“I know you’re here,” he said without moving, his voice low and defeated.

I paused, uncertain of what to do next. So I said what was on my mind.

“You’re so lonely.”

He didn’t respond.

I moved forward and found enough space for myself on the bench beside the window he sat at. Settling in behind him without touching him, inches separating us, I spoke quietly now, staring at his broad back and his thick shock of dark hair.

“Leia is gone.”

The throb I felt in the Force connection between us made my heart ache.

“I know. I felt it.”

He didn’t move; he barely breathed. I sensed that sadness once more, coupled with a familiar isolation. Every fiber of him ached for connection, for warmth.

Glancing out at the stars, I felt his wish to be out there, floating through the darkness, cold and without a future. The effort of living was almost too much for him. But he held onto a sliver of hope, a tiny loose thread that I picked and pulled at until I could get a firm grip on it.

Brow furrowed, I tentatively reached a hand out where it hovered uncertainly over his well-muscled bare shoulder. I nearly held my breath as I contemplated my actions. We had only ever touched through this bond once before, the resulting visions both hopeful and confusing.

But the Force has connected us for a reason, I believed that; and right now he needed that connection more than ever.

So I placed my hand gently on his shoulder, skin connecting with skin for the first time in months - and igniting every cell of my body.

Intense grief, need, exhaustion; he was a minefield. But soon, the initial shock gave way to relief, and together we sighed, melting to one another.

I rested my head against his back, exhaling with him and closing my eyes to focus on healing him. Every bit of skin that came into contact with his burst into a mellow flame.

Our breath became one, my inhales giving way to his exhales. Though the edges of his mind curled like vines around my own, I moved softly through the twisting halls of his memories and mended the rough edges I found along the way.

“Rey?”

He sounded almost scared; young and uncertain.

“Ben.”

My voice rang solidly, like a bell through the fog.

We spoke without speaking, sharing thoughts through the connection, moving together through the ether.

“Can you make it so that I’m not so lonely all the time?” he asked plaintively.

“You have to let me in,” I replied, knowing I was only scratching his surface scars.

He hesitated briefly, then the tension gave way slightly to a darker, more twisted path; we were going deeper now. And while he was afraid of what he knew he’d find, he was more ashamed that I would see it too.

“Don’t be afraid,” I reassured him.

Abandonment. Hate. An overwhelming desire to be seen; to be wanted. Isolation. Shame. Petulance. Darkness. Warmth...

Snoke.

With this reveal, a tremor began. At first it was a minor vibration, almost imperceptible, that caused a tremble in the waters of his mind.

It was resistance against my presence, but it wasn’t Ben.

Disgust. Fear. Anger and misunderstanding. Powerlessness. And again, that warmth and hope.

In Snoke.

I struggled as I dug deeper, the slight hum now a drone that grew more deafening with each second.

Over the noise inside our shared space, his voice came at me angrily now. “You can’t....” he strained; he was struggling.

Or rather, something was fighting this, and he was fighting back.

Focusing even harder on calming his mind and fighting the intrusion, I managed to grunt, “Please, Ben...”

It was too much. The vibration of that intense energy rocked huge waves into our connection and the walls of his mind began to crumble. He let out a growl of rage that tore through me; he was unable to hold on any longer.

The tiny tears in our connection spread into huge gaps. I screamed, determination flowing through me like fire, but it wasn’t enough. I felt myself being hurled out of his mind violently as my voice cracked with effort.

With a shuddering gasp and the sudden realization of the truth, I was back in my cot on the Resistance Base, alone. No window to the stars, no dim planet light... no Ben.

Panicked, I pushed back through the connection, desperate to find him again. But he was gone. Closed off, unreachable.

Had Ben pushed me out on his own? No, he wouldn’t do that. Would he? Was he closed off now because he wanted to be?

Or could it have been... Snoke?

No.

That would be impossible.

Wouldn't it?


End file.
